A Shared Lives story
Max speaks out at Social Work team meeting to share his lived experience.
In April 2024 Max stepped outside his comfort zone and joined Shared Lives to talk to a group of Mental Health Social Work Practitioners during their annual away day, enabling them to really understand the benefits of living as part of a Shared Lives household.
Max has lived with his current carers Matt and Jean since 2016 when he moved in with them as a foster child aged 12. When Max turned 18, the local authority referred to Camphill Village Trust Shared Lives, to enable him to remain in his home, with the additional support from the Shared Lives scheme. Max and his Shared Lives Carers have formed a trusting relationship and together with the circle of support of Matt and Jean’s extended family, this arrangement provides Max with stability and structure.
Max experiences mental ill health and receives ongoing specialist support from his local mental health service. The addition of the Shared Lives model of care enables Max to live his own life, as part of a family, whilst benefitting from the support from his carers whenever he needs it; whether this is a listening ear, when he is struggling with his mental health and needs to talk, or practical support, to motivate and encourage him to attend health appointments, look for employment opportunities and advocate for him so that he can achieve what he deserves in life.
In a response to questions from the Scheme about his experience, Max shared an insight into his life and the support he receives from his Shared Lives Carers:
How did you feel about turning 18, and moving from foster care to Shared lives?
Fearful. I don’t think I ever planned as far as 18 so when it finally happened it was strange, confusing and I was scared. The difference in being slightly older meant so many things that I wasn’t quite prepared for – one of these being transitioning from Forster care to Shared lives.
Uncomfortable… but all change is for me. It was a new experience for myself and my foster parents however despite the struggles and challenges it worked out in the end.
Did it matter to you what the label was around your support?
No – labels are just another way to single someone into a particular group. To me the support I get is just that, it’s support. Haphazardly, adding a label can make it invalidating and particularly for me feel like how I was in foster care – another child in unfortunate circumstances. People are particular and unique and shouldn’t be defined to a label.
What works about living in a family?
The dynamics – I love being able to take part in what Matt and Jean are doing whether it’s walking the dog or just watching a film. It’s nice to feel a sense of belonging with people who genuinely care. I have support almost always and I’ve never once thought that Matt wouldn’t be able to help, even when a situation is complicated, or he doesn’t quite understand he still shows sympathy and listens offering whatever support he can.
What would you change?
I have a good relationship with my foster parents however, I would like to be closer with Jean. She’s a lot different to Matt but still just as important. Sometimes in families there are struggles and you may not always see eye to eye, but now I’m older, Jean has a good sense of insight and perspective, so I would want to build a stronger relationship with her.
What opportunities do you think you have now that you may not have had if Matt and Jean weren’t in your life?
Almost everything I have now I don’t think I would have if it weren’t for Matt and Jean in some way or another – I understand that mental health can be debilitating and comes down to the individual to get better, taking time and effort but support is incredibly crucial for recovery. Matt and Jean have been my support since I was 12 and as I got older I learnt how to trust them and know that they genuinely cared. A lot of things I have achieved wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the support of my foster parents and family. I owe everything to them.
Sam Price, Care and Support Manager, and Max’s allocated Coordinator notes “since living with Matt and Jean, Max has had the security of a loving family and the opportunity to go on family holidays and enjoy family celebrations, whilst also becoming more independent and confident in his abilities. Max is extremely intelligent and is a gifted artist and with support of his Shared Lives Carers, he has successfully completed a Level 3 BTEC in Art and Design in 2023 securing an unconditional offer at Hereford University. He also plays the guitar and has aspirations to obtain his motorbike licence. Max knows that he has the full support of his carers who are committed to promoting his wellbeing. He is a caring individual who has real insight into his mental health challenges. It’s a pleasure to work alongside Max who bravely spoke so effortlessly and articulately in front of a room full of strangers and I have no doubt that Max will continue to thrive and be successful.”
The Mental Health Team Managers were keen to invite Max along with Sam to promote the service amongst the front-line Social Workers and have an open conversation about the benefits of the model, recognising that more adults with mental ill health could benefit from family support, whether that be day support, respite breaks or longer term/transitional arrangements.
